Learn from other's mistakes....

Winnie: so it's Friday!
Barbie: Thank ya JESUS!
Winnie: LOL...boy pretty excited
Barbie: tough week. But bring on the weekend!
Winnie: I don't have any plans so it not that big of a deal
Barbie: Oh trust me when I say that I have no exciting plans... but I am just looking forward to a change...at least I don't have to make lunches for two days. Ha
Winnie: well. There you go!! lol
Winnie: Guess I will rest up for next weekend. Can't wait!
Barbie: so next Sat. afternoon, we're exploring the big city...hopefully it won't be too cold!
Winnie: let's hope not...or we can sit and have coffee all afternoon lol
Winnie: and people watch, get some good blog material
Barbie: ha, ha....ya...we need some new material.
Winnie: no kidding
Winnie: so......I'm tattoo shopping
Barbie: what???
Winnie: yup, I've decided to do it....
Winnie: been putting it off for 20 years, I think it's about time
Barbie: let me guess....you are going to get "Keep it real" scrolled across your back...ha,ah
Winnie: it was a contender.....
Barbie: please don't say barbed wire around your arm....I will have to have you committed.
Winnie: It's and African symbol that means: Learn from the Past
Barbie: If I were you, I would really research it....make sure it doesn't mean "dumb ass white girl"
Winnie: it's a pretty one too....but who wants to look like Lindsay Lohan?
Barbie: is that what she has??
Barbie: Obviously it isn't working for her.
Winnie: LOL, I don't know, just trying to be funny, help me out here!!!
Barbie: sorry. ha
Barbie: I just don't want you to end up with say...a misspelled tattoo.....I'm not naming names or anything but I know someone who wanted to have Deuce written and now has Duce. oooopsie!! that was definitely worth a spellcheck.
Winnie: ya....that sucks
Winnie: note to self: ask where he got that done...so I don't go there!
Barbie: good plan!
Barbie: Also, I wouldn't recommend a tattoo parlour in the back of anything mobile....but that's just me.
Winnie: shit...guess i should ask for my deposit back eh?
Barbie: Well, you know what happened last time you gave money to Carnies....
Winnie: hey hey hey....that was suppose to be just between you and me!!!!!

Why???

Winnie: Hello my dear dear friend!
Barbie: Hello!!!!!
Winnie: is there a way of getting out of parenthood?
Barbie: If there was YOU KNOW someone would have found it by now!
Winnie: oh well, guess I need to tough it out lol
Barbie: what a freakin' week!!
Winnie: In feel your pain ;)
Winnie: What's going on today?
Barbie: hmmm....let's see....ex trouble and yesterday I found out a colleague has cancer and today another acquaintance. I just found out five minutes ago that my colleague died late last night.
Winnie: OH no.....so sorry hun
Barbie: don't be sorry for me....I am sorry for their families. It was too late by the time she found out I guess.
Barbie: Plus another friend of mine's father died this week.
Winnie: so horrible
Barbie: Well, we know that death is part of life, but it seems so unfair when someone is taken so young.
Winnie: guess it makes our problems seem so manageable
Barbie: I have a stress neck ache....wonder why? ha, ha
Winnie: one more sleep and you can get help with that !
Barbie: but you are right....these things put it all into perspective. As long as we are living, everything else will be settled.
Barbie: Yes, I am so looking forward to PC's visit. Will be good to have someone to cuddle with.
Winnie: not that it makes our problems less real...but sure does put things into perspective
Barbie: yes. absolutely.
Barbie: and the Haiti earthquake as well. I did my part and gave money to the cause (just so I don't get letters). But it also has served the purpose of showing us how lucky we are here.
Barbie: ....and how humans can pull together for a good cause.
Winnie: Humanity...it has it's strengths
Barbie: yes. It does.
Winnie: So does Friendship ;)
Winnie: it's a small version of humanity
Barbie: Even though I sometimes question it when I look at people like 23 year old Heidi Montag getting 10 plastic surgery procedures!!
Winnie: yes i saw that...poor girl needs some self esteem therapy
Barbie: um...ya think?
Barbie: she ruined her looks entirely
Winnie: although It's more like "how to start over when all you have left that you were born with is the blood flowing through your veins" therapy
Barbie: absolute insanity
Winnie: who's gonna take her seriously now?
Barbie: why can't we just accept ourselves as woman..."flaws" and all?
Winnie: because plastic surgeons would be out of business
Winnie: and some women can...the somewhat sane ones that is
Barbie: If women were smart, we would all band together and just say "this is it" if you don't like it, then no sex for you.
Winnie: then the plastic surgeons could all become marriage counselors lol
Barbie: hahahaha!

Wife Needed...(with no fringe benfits)

Winnie: Good Friday morning!!
Barbie: hi
Barbie: ....looks like it is going to be one of those mornings!!
Winnie: busy girl, what's going on?
Barbie: just to much to do and not enough time
Winnie: imagine if you had to be at work earlier?
Barbie: I know. All these things to do are cramping my style, ha, ha
Winnie: lol
Barbie: you know I was born to be a lady who lunches?
Winnie: guess that should be your next book lol
Barbie: just as soon as I get the 25 million I need to be a proper lady who lunches. ha
Winnie: oh and have to make sure your lady friends are as well equipped
Barbie: but of course my dear!
Barbie: what fun would it is lunching alone?
Winnie: EXACTLY
Winnie: but then again, you do have a small pooch to put in a designer bag and take along with you
Barbie: no, no....my personal assistant will be walking the dog while I lunch.
Winnie: ahhhhhhhhhhh, i see
Winnie: sounds promising
Barbie: well hey; a girl needs to have plan!
Winnie: and first on the list is a personal assistant?
Winnie: oh and don't forget your very own PR lady!!!!
Barbie: or maybe a maid of some kind.
Winnie: mmmmmmmmmm nice
Barbie: I still think I just need a wife.
Winnie: ya, but it's much harder to fire a wife
Barbie: she can cook for me, clean for me, do all the crappy stuff and I can work and come home
and play with the kids
Winnie: but then she wants half when you’re done with her!!! ;)
Winnie: it's cheaper to pay severance pay
Barbie: maybe I'll just hire a maid, nanny and personal assistant instead.
Winnie: sounds like a safer plan to me.....
Barbie: ya
Winnie: and this way you could still have a boyfriend on the side and no one to complain about it
Barbie: Now…THAT’S A PLAN!

Reasons to stay single in 2010

So, to start out 2010, we have decided to remind
ourselves why we love to be single.
Here are our top 25 reasons.


When you’re single...

1-Without a spouse you can still have a decent
social life in your 30s.
2-Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.
3-You don’t have to worry about what the bathroom
smells like when you walk out of it.
4-You know where the bar of soap has been.
5-There’s no fight for remote control ownership.
6-You don't have to shave if you don’t want to.
7-You won’t have anyone saying 'you're not going to wear
that, are you? (that’s what friends are for)
8-If there’s dribble on your pillow you know where it came
from.
9-You can be rude if that’s in you’re nature.
10-You can have friends over who behave outrageously
whenever you want.
11-You can surf porn on the Internet till you’re eyes fall out
and don't have to worry about deleting your browser.
12-You can spend all night on the phone without having
to justify it.
13-There's plenty of space in the closet.
14-You can drink wine out of a bottle or milk right out of
the jug whenever you like.
15-You don't have to write cards on anyone’s behalf for
birthdays or Christmas.
16-You can pass gas at will.
17-Your opinion is always the best opinion.
18-You can enjoy great performances of gay musicians
and actors without getting that eye-rolling thingy....
19-Dragon breath in the morning? No big deal.
20-Las Vegas is back on the list of vacation destinations.
21-Sweatpants and baggy shirt? Yes baby!
22-You can tell people you’re single and not have to
lie about it.
23-You can come home drunk and not have to pretend
you’re sober.
24-You can use your own name at hotels.

And last but not least…

25-You can actually tell the bartender, "If anyone
calls asking for me, tell them I'm HERE baby!"

Happy New Year to all our fans and thank you for sticking with us in the last couple months. We have slacked…we know, but 2010 is OUR year!!! We’re back with a vengeance!

Have a very gay Christmas!

Winnie: hi hun
Barbie: hey there
Winnie: keeping busy?
Barbie: yep....you know us neurotic types....always keeping busy...even if only with imagined worries...
Winnie: lol...yesssssssssssssss i know
Barbie: I am actually less grinchy today.
Winnie: and that's a good thing?
Barbie: isn't it?
Winnie: but I WANT you to be grinchy along with me!!
Barbie: Well, I'm usually a happy girl....just not usually around Christmas....I have no idea why. I think I just don't like people telling me that I HAVE to be happy and have the best time of the year. Can't take the pressure.
Barbie: wanna see something funny?
Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3354flS1KJs&feature=PlayList&p=4FDC8FC0E5BE901A&index=2&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

Barbie: sadly, I miss the big hair of the 80s

Winnie: lol, oh my...that video is so lame
Barbie: I can tell the chick in the video right now what the problem was between them .....he's gay genius! ha!
Winnie: just like any other relationship....only if we knew then what we know now , lol
Barbie: did you ever love any gay guys?
Barbie: I think they tend to appeal to teenage girls a lot (along with Vampires now apparently)
Winnie: all of them......LOL
Barbie: ha, ha. Don't ALL teenage girls love gay boys ?( I still love my gay boys). They are like girlfriends, but you still get to hang around boys and they don't look at you like they want to eat you with a fork.
Winnie: was never close to any...they were too cool for me
Barbie: what? are you not aware that we used to hang out with some in high school???? (big clue, our mothers let them come to our sleepover parties)
Winnie: ya but they all liked you lol
Barbie: yes, it is true, I am a proud fag hag.
Winnie: yes yes yes
Winnie: see, I tend to attract the losers
Winnie: or bar rats....whatever
Winnie: all the guys that have no chance in hell
Barbie: I'm totally hetero but have a soft spot for gay people (Cindy Lauper eat your heart out)...I think it is the "going for the underdog" thing. Maybe it is because I am a creative type. Except fake lesbians….hate those. You know how I feel about them.
Winnie: Yes, the “hey look boys in the bar…I’m kissing another girl” type lesbians. Lesbians of convenience.
Winnie: Gay power and all that, but I have to say that most of the good straight ones are intimidated by me, lol, go figure
Barbie: well, it takes a big man not to be intimidated by a strong woman.
Winnie: lol yes
Winnie: I was just told the other day that I make guys nervous.
Barbie: Guys SHOULD be nervous around you. They have no idea what they are up against. Snort!
Barbie: Psst….I will tell you a little secret....I know right away how to tell if I guy has a big “you know what”...
Winnie: Do tell!
Barbie: If he laughs at my jokes.....big one.
Barbie: if he doesn't think I am funny, small one.
Winnie: good conclusion
Barbie: I have a feeling that if we post this I will suddenly become VERY funny to a lot of nervous guys.
Winnie: You and me both sista!

Fala la la la la lal......arrrggggggg!!!!

Winnie: hey chicki!
Barbie: hey chicka!
Winnie: sa va?
Barbie: yes....no complaints.
Winnie: I'm having one of those days...just a crazy crazy morning
Barbie: oh yeah? why?
Winnie: even the dog was hyper
Winnie: just stupid stuff...sick kid...was up all night and of course has a test at school today
Winnie: my father made all this noise in the shower ( i think he dropped ALL the shampoo bottles) woke everyone up
Winnie: my mom ran into the bathroom, thinking my dad had fell...started freaking out, she started crying
Winnie: the furnace stopped working (its new, was just installed last week) and my dad was checking it and decided to use a Rubbermaid bin as a step stool
Winnie: .....or course you can just image the sound he made when his foot came crashing through it. Not to worry, it was only full of dog food....that is now all over the basement floor.
Winnie: Oh and did i mention the dog was hyper???
Winnie: ....it just went on and on
Winnie: not enough coffee in the world today!
Barbie: LOL!! Christmas with the Griswold's!
Winnie: YUPPERS...
Winnie: oh...and the dog broke her rope and ran away
Barbie: she's gone???
Winnie: she came back....of course. She's a chicken. God forbid she spends more than 3 minutes away from me
Barbie: lol
Winnie: she might just climb on the counter, swoop all the paper and pens off and chew the crap out of a gel pen on the beige carpet
Winnie: ...cuz that would just be crazy
Winnie: am I ranting?????????
Barbie: lil bit....but I can understand. My family is coming next week so I'll be doing much of the same, I suspect. ha
Barbie: This morning my 5 year old told me he hated me and that I ruined his day....sigh.
Winnie: what did you do to that poor helpless child?
Barbie: he was scrapping with his sister on who got the middle seat in the van and it was her turn and he had a melt down and I didn't give in. So he got mad and threw his hallowe'en bucket at me and I did the whole "pick it up on the count of three or no Christmas specials for you tonight which further infuriated him"
Barbie: So he went and sat in his seat but let me know that he hated me just to get a little dig in....ah.....merry christmas.
Winnie: ohhhhhhhhhhh the jolly joys......
Barbie: "Tis the season to be stressed and cranky...falalalal"

Brrrrrrr...who's got the booze?

Winnie: good morning
Barbie: hey there
Winnie: the weekend is almost here ;)
Winnie: yeaaaaaaaa
Barbie: yeeha!!!!!
Winnie: so we both should have a blast?????
Barbie: I would think so....after the past week, I will say it is a safe bet that cocktails are on the agenda.
Winnie: lots and lots of cocktails lol
Winnie: my young son turns 19 this weekend....crazy...where did the time go?
Barbie: it goes so fast.
Winnie: the worse....he seams to have his life in check more than I do lol
Barbie: oh...it goes in cycles. Nobody has it together 100% of the time, lol
Winnie: thanks for making me feel better...
Winnie: how's your Christmas shopping coming?
Barbie: almost all done.
Barbie: the kids are the hardest and they are done
Winnie: wow, where did you find the time?
Barbie: I just made a list, took my tail to toys r us one day and got the whole dang thing done.
Winnie: i should have know you were so organized lol
Winnie: i've been out a couple times and walk away with nothing....frigggg
Barbie: I hate Christmas shopping so I make it as quick as possible....like a band aid, lol
Winnie: i usually like it, but this year i'm having a hard time deciding on anything
Barbie: well little kids are easy...older kids and men are hard...lol
Winnie: not having trouble with the older kids...they make it easy...CASH!!! IPOD and a LAPTOP...lol How easy is that?
Winnie: now all i have to do is win the lottery
Barbie: my kids said "surprises".....you don't get easier than that
Winnie: its the smaller kids i dont know
Barbie: then my little boy asked me last night if he could have a an hourglass timer lol
Winnie: interesting
Winnie: one year Skater boy asked for a Nutcracker, how could Santa resist
Barbie: OH MY GOSH!! my little guy asked for a nutcracker last year!!!!
Barbie: hey...check this out...
Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x768VAsOQSw
Barbie: We Canadians ARE crazy...
Barbie: have you ever been ice fishing??
Winnie: LOL, crazy for sure...and NO WAY you'd ever catch me ice fishing....
Winnie: I get cold walking from my car to the mall
Barbie: The people at the kid's bus stop were laughing at me the other day cuz it was -7 and I had on my head to toe gear. I don't enjoy being cold!!
Barbie: I would never do ice fishing FOR FUN!?
Barbie: maybe instead of jail time but not on purpose for recreation!!
Winnie: CHEERS to that!!!!!!
Barbie: although I must say that I used to enjoy watching the stupid snowmobilers fall through the ice in the winter back in the Hole
Winnie: yes, was always entertaining to say the least lol
Winnie: who's got the hot apple cider and rum?
Barbie: see skating outdoors you can talk me into as long as you put Baileys in my hot chocolate
Winnie: if there's booze....you can coax me to almost anything ;)
Barbie: yes, I've heard.
Winnie: shhhhhhhhhhh, don't let the word get around!
Barbie: too late! LMAO!!