Tacky Santa

Barbie: hey there..
Winnie: hello
Barbie: how are you today?
Winnie: doing good, cant complain about anything except the rain coming lol
Barbie: it has been rainy and foggy here for days on end...I think it is starting to affect my already fragile sanity...ha, ha
Winnie: we haven't had rain yet, just been foggy for a week lol
Barbie: gross....I don't know how people in England and Vancouver live this way all the time!!
Barbie: Plus it is at the darkest time of the year.....yuck!
Winnie: they wear rose colored glasses and ponchos
Barbie: sounds like a blast....wtf?
Winnie: got to survive !!!1
Barbie: hey...you do what you can...lol
Winnie: did you take the kids to a xmas parade yet? oh wait..."Holiday Parade"?
Barbie: no...it was gross and raining....not my idea of a good time. Plus I am a Christmas Grinch in case you have forgotten. I do everything at Christmas for my kids...otherwise I would skip it all and go to the Bahamas.
Winnie: i like the decorations and parties, that's it lol
Winnie: now that my kids are grown, its just not the same anymore
Barbie: I like the nostalgia of it I guess and the food but I hate the consumerism for it's own sake and sorry, but women take the brunt of the work around Christmas.
Winnie: i agree....so much for holidays lol
Winnie: i think this year i would much rather be somewhere warm too....something to be grateful for lol
Barbie: ya....the holidays just tends to be something I "get through". It is really stressful.
Barbie: I used to like it as a kid when all you had to do was sit back and enjoy. It must also be enjoyable for men who for the most part get to do the same thing (besides buying the required gifts).
Barbie: Let's see....you have all the family to buy for, kids, stockings, friends (ps- you are not getting a present), teachers, blah, blah....decorations to put up, cookies to bake, meals to plan.....I could live without it frankly.
Winnie: i still enjoy those things, its just the financial stress that gets to me....and allot of others too. The spirit of the holidays is often lost because of that.
Barbie: I think I was born without the "cooking/scrapbooking" gene.
Winnie: i only like to bake during the holidays....i love the decorations and music, somehow it makes me feel good
Barbie: I like to do those things when I have time but when you work full time and have two young children, it is all so rushed and forced!!
Winnie: but then,the gift buying, running around and having to see people you've been avoiding all year....bummes me out lol
Barbie: ya...I hate gift buying. I would skip the gifts part altogether if I didn't have kids. That's why I like Thanksgiving....all the good food and friends, but minus the gifts, the over hype and the overboard decorations.
Winnie: maybe we should move to the middle east....never have to see a plastic lit up Santa and reindeer again
Barbie: ohhh....but if you think the women there don't tow the line for their celebrations you are delirious...lol
Winnie: but does it involve tacky decorations???????
Barbie: not nearly as tacky as ours.

A boring Blog

Winnie: hey...got your voice back?
Barbie: marginally..
Barbie: but now I have a fantastic cough to go with it.
Winnie: ohhh sucks
Barbie: I can't complain, it is the first time I have been sick all year. I so rarely get sick.
Winnie: still....no fun
Barbie: hopefully it will be done soon.
Winnie: rest ;)
Barbie: YA....OK. THAT'S funny!
Winnie: lol
Barbie: single mom. rest. hahahahahaha
Winnie: single mom? why I'm sure their father would be HAPPY to lend a hand lol
Barbie: for a price...lol
Barbie: isn't there always a price?
Winnie: always.....
Barbie: so...we have had complaints that our blog is boring lately...
Winnie: ya i know
Barbie: so I guess you should go ahead and take that pole dancing class so we have something entertaining to talk about.
Barbie: I'm very sorry that the drudgery of our lives just isn't cutter the muster...lol
Winnie: entertaining??? lots of entertaining stuff going already, just not sure if its blog worthy
Barbie: that's the thing.
Winnie: anyone care that my son ended up with a BAD tooth ache and a pulled groin muscle withing 24 hrs...and that now i have to drive an hour for an emergency dentist appt with a limping complaining teenager...????? I doubt it lol
Barbie: I know. Somehow if we had our own reality series people would say our lives are very dramatic but some things we can't write about...
Winnie: and that i searched frantically this morning for my purse and then had the horrible fear that i had left it in bf's car which is an hour away on a hoist at a garage?...
Winnie: i think not!!!!
Barbie: how about my very boring weekend...NOT!
Barbie: driving 5 hours to realize that I am sick. Then taking out PC with my cold as well....only to end up with two sickos (and not in a good way) laying around all weekend.
Winnie: here's something exciting.....i started my Christmas shopping LOL....
Winnie: this should get everyone talking!
Winnie: OH....and i lost a button on my new jeans!
Barbie: There you go. This is life and we write about our lives.
Barbie: Although I must say that there was a very interesting drunken man at the Hut on Friday.
Winnie: and i missed it...
Barbie: He sat there yelling to himself for an hour or two....we all made bets on when the doorman was going to kick him out.
Barbie: When he was finally asked to leave, he came over and made a dramatic plea to stay....unfortunately he was completely incomprehensible and so we all just burst out laughing and gave him a round of applause.
Winnie: someone I know? lol
Barbie: not unless you know many 65 year old toothless men.
Barbie: ....and you might...hahahaha
Winnie: well i might, i do work there
Barbie: and for a grand finally, he did his best ninja routine on the way out.
Winnie: priceless......
Barbie: band-shmand....HE was the entertainment.

The Status Challenge

Winnie: good morning
Barbie: good morning!
Winnie: how was your evening?
Barbie: pretty uneventful....one could almost say boring
Winnie: nice i guess lol
Barbie: well, I'll take it over drama
Winnie: better than turmoil
Barbie: ya...there isn't anything "wrong" per se...just nothing very exciting or dramatic or excessively gleeful
Barbie: not a bad thing, just not pure entertainment
Winnie: we sure are suckers for drama lol
Winnie: we're complaining that there is nothing wrong....what's wrong with that??
Barbie: I AM NOT COMPLAINING DUDE...let's get this straight...I am perfectly happy to choose my own excitement!
Winnie: lol ok
Barbie: preferably in the form of a lottery win of some sort
Winnie: I'm working on that one
Barbie: me too. It's bound to happen soon. I'm worthy of it.
Winnie: yes you are my friend
Winnie: and i am worthy of at least half a million for being your friend
Barbie: lol not to worry....I'll take care of my friends when I am a multi multi millionaire.
Winnie: good :)
Barbie: the same goes for you!!
Barbie: In fact, all I want is my house paid off.
Winnie: all i want is A house, lol
Barbie: well, in my case, that also may be the case soon...ha, ha
Barbie: So....can I challenge our readers for a moment?
Winnie: a challenge on a monday morning??? wow you're tough
Barbie: I am asking them to come up with witty status' on facebook. The ol' "Glen is eating an apple." is dragging the fun out of facebook down!!
Barbie: I'm asking our readers to stir up trouble, cause some controversy, be original, think outside the box. Or, if you are going to be lame, and least let it be the MOST lame. (Can I say that my friend Pebbles won this one with the "Pebbles just turned the light out in the garage". An eternal winner in my books.)
Winnie: so you mean you DON'T want me talking about taking my dog for a walk?
Barbie: no.
Winnie: hmmmm, take all the fun out of it will ya!
Barbie: If your dog ate someones cat along the way, well that's a different story.
Winnie: nice........then i may have some angry neighbours who have something to talk about on THEIR status
Winnie: I have a good one.......
Barbie: what?
Winnie: and give it away?
Barbie: ahh....that's better...I checked your status...much more interesting!
Winnie: now i just have to tell the world how STUPID i am lol
Barbie: well at least it's more interesting!

Hey there Sugar!

Winnie: hi ya
Barbie: well howdy there!
Winnie: filled up on candy yet?
Barbie: what do you think??
Barbie: You know I have candy issues, lol
Winnie: yes, i heard that somewhere.
Barbie: I may be the only person you know who has eaten an entire gingerbread house.....in one night!! (insulin here I come)
Winnie: well it was a chaser for vodka, so you're allowed
Winnie: it's in the rule book
Barbie: I'm still waiting for my metabolism to give up....then I'm screwed.
Winnie: well mine has already, so you can't be too far behind
Barbie: great....oh the joys of aging.
Winnie: PLEASE don't say THAT word?
Winnie: i like to think that reality is just something the Pharmaceutical companies made up
Barbie: what? Joy? don't be such a stick in the mud
Winnie: i mean the "A.G.E" word
Barbie: bah...to be honest, I don't care that much (today)...ha, ha
Winnie: that's because you're high on sucrose....just wait
Barbie: technically if I keep eating candy, I never have to come down...NEVER!!!!!
Winnie: neither will the scale
Barbie: It isn't a problem, I can stop any time, I just don't want to.
Barbie: I mean, I have seen people who eat waaaay more candy than I do, THEY have the problem, not me.
Winnie: that's because there is less candy left for you....
Barbie: My life is still under control, I mean, it isn't like I'm holding up convenience stores for a Big Turk or anything....
Barbie: yet.
Winnie: well you should be good until after Easter anyway....
Barbie: ya...I mean, keep things in perspective, I'm only on a sugar high from Hallowe'en until Easter.
Winnie: it's controlled substance abuse
Winnie: i like it!
Barbie: I'm what you call a functional sugarholic.
Barbie: See at the Halloween party most people were doing shots and I was popping gummy spiders.
Winnie: and you wonder why you have strange friends
Barbie: excuse me? I prefer non traditionally interesting.
Winnie: "Oh there's the German Girl...look at her take down those candies...wow!"
Barbie: I have plenty of normal friends....as long as they are candy enablers.
Winnie: "Ya she's a hoot...just don't invite her to your kid's birthday parties"
Barbie: listen, a girl needs her vices....otherwise I would be intolerable...too much to look up to!
Winnie: I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it
Winnie: I just wouldn't want to be compared to the Blueberry Girl from Willy Wonka
Winnie: but if you don't mind it....
Barbie: well, like I say, there isn't anything in life that can't be made better with a little bit of sugar.....
Barbie: except Diabetes.

Fear or Beer?

Winnie: good morning
Barbie: good morning sunshine!
Winnie: that's me!!!!!
Winnie: the sunshine of every one's life!!!
Barbie: lol
Barbie: well, nobody can say you lack self confidence!
Winnie: im sure we could some people who would disagree with me though
Barbie: doubtful
Winnie: self confidence is my Super Power!
Barbie: So how are things in the Hole? Still mass hysteria?
Winnie: Yupppp...now I have a sick son
Barbie: which one?
Winnie: actually both
Barbie: so now they can't get the shot anyway, so you can put off that decision...
Winnie: college boy has a cold, saw him last night and feeling run down
Winnie: skater boy has a terrible headache, body ache and heavy chest...no fever of cough just yet, crossing my fingers
Barbie: yuck. the flu sucks.
Winnie: it sure does, now add FEAR into the symptoms and its even worse
Barbie: yes. of course. Fear taxes the immune system.
Winnie: something like that
Barbie: so he is at home today then?
Winnie: yup, let him sleep before he ends up with a fever
Barbie: sleep is soooo good!!
Winnie: nothing else i can do for him now
Barbie: nope. just tlc, lots of fluids and rest
Winnie: How is the center today?
Barbie: like yesterday....less and less people are coming and the ones who are here are in a mad panic.
Winnie: start handing out Valium with the hand sanitizers
Barbie: lol
Barbie: If I was a doctor I would be prescribing a shot of whiskey and a mental health day for everyone!! (including me, lol)
Winnie: hey that sounds like a good plan to me....although everyday is a mental health day for me lol
Barbie: lol!
Winnie: and I prefer Brandy
Barbie: I'm just thinking the alcohol is the important component.
Barbie: But I do think this...whatever your choices and practices...it always helps to have calm around them.
Winnie: i agree...there is nothing more that we can do
Barbie: again with the "give in to the river of life....paddling upstream gets you nowhere"....how many times are we (you and I) going to be presented with this lesson before we finally get it??
Winnie: until we drown?
Barbie: well, if you let yourself go with the flow you eventually bob to the top and you won't drown.
Barbie: But MAN is that a tough one!!!!
Winnie: OK...enough talk about that....
Winnie: do you have your costume for the weekend?
Barbie: yep. I am wearing my German outfit so I am going as a beer wench, lol
Winnie: glad you will be yourself lol
Barbie: you are pretty brave when you are out of reach.

Flu or Fly?

Winnie: hi friend!

Barbie: Hi girl!

Winnie: is it sunny today?

Barbie: nope...but I am in a slightly more sunny frame of mind

Winnie: good

Winnie: funny what NeoCitrin can do

Barbie: lol....at least I got a good night's sleep

Winnie: well you needed it

Barbie: yes

Winnie: shit i just over creamed my coffee...hmmm guess its cafe au half and half for me today lol

Barbie: lol, Starbucks eat your heart out

Winnie: guess ill have to get my fix with something else

Barbie: so. everyone around here is all a twitter about the flu vaccine...

Winnie: i dont get it...flu is the flu....

Winnie: i would not put that stuff in my system on purpose

Barbie: yep. media and pharmaceutical companies like to scare people

Barbie: I have worked with germy kids for years and years and have only gotten the true flu once and never gotten a flu shot.

Winnie: me either...lol....maybe we shouldnt say that out loud

Barbie: why? it isn't against the law...lol. Want to prevent the flu? Wash your hands consistently, get lots of rest and keep your stress under control.

Winnie: i mean we shouldn't jinx it

Barbie: well, I'm not interested in getting the flu, especially, but i take it as a sign that your body needs a rest plus it builds up your immunity, being exposed to viruses.

Winnie: and this public service announcement has been brought to you by.....

Barbie: well, if it was a public service announcement it would be saying "get vaccinated"

Winnie: yes it would, i agree

Barbie: I get why the govt. wants people to get vaccinated. Because if everyone got the flu at the same time, it would bring society to its knees but it would be nice if they did more on other preventative measures too.

Winnie: make work project...love it

Barbie: yesterday I watched Oprah and they were visiting different places in the world. I want to move to Denmark. I think I was born in the wrong place. It seems like I would fit right in there...lol

Winnie: lol....and you complain now about a long distance relationship??

Barbie: lol....just kidding. But their society is freaking awesome!

Winnie: how's that?

Barbie: well...it is a free society but most people make generally around the same amount of money, so you don't focus your career on money but rather on your interests.

Barbie: All health care and all that is free

Winnie: so far so good...where do i sign up?

Barbie: plus they are minimalists....they are not into big houses, big consumers.

Barbie: They get tons of holidays and everyone quits work at 4 to go and eat with their families.Winnie: what about big....???? oh forget it

Barbie: lol

Barbie: but not to worry, I love Canada. I'm not leaving.

Winnie: well you ARE living in the Center of the Universe, why would you want to leave? :)

Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWQf13B8epw

Regards from the Over 30 Crowd!

Winnie: good morning sunshine!

Barbie: mornin!

Winnie: how are you on this nice crisp day?

Barbie: besides chilly? lol, well, ok. It is always hard to go back to the ol' grind after a nice weekend of friends, family and good grub.

Winnie: im starting to be happy that i dont have a 9 to 5 job...where would I find the time...

Winnie: i think Im still full from last weekend and SICK of baking and cooking. My son in college is happy, he went home with more food then I have left in my fridge

Barbie: You sure did Martha Stewart proud this last weekend. I of course did some elite eating myself..

Winnie: It was a nice weekend, was great to spend some time with you and the kids

Barbie: Thanks for hanging with us! I know the playgrounds were amazingly exciting for you...lol

Winnie: it was the most exciting part ;)

Barbie: that doesn't say much for your weekend girl...lol

Winnie: no it doesn't LOL..but next weekend...look out!!! mama is on a road trip!!!

Barbie: lol....just to let you know....I REFUSE to go to that adult club. NEVER AGAIN....felt like I was on "Keys to the VIP"

Winnie: fine, but you better take me out somewhere fun...no PG 13 for me this weekend...lol

Winnie: Its bad enough i will be stuck in a hotel with a bunch of 15 yr olds

Barbie: well, where do you want to go?

Winnie: somewhere that i dont feel like a chaperon

Barbie: that is hard to do!! lol

Barbie: all the places except pubs the kids are so young..

Winnie: help me out here hunny....lol

Winnie: then pub it is I guess

Barbie: I like the crowd at the hut. Mixed ages. More people to talk to.

Winnie: that's cuz you know everyone, not too difficult to be social my dear....got to mix it up a bit!!

Barbie: I know...but it is HARD meeting new pals in a new city. Everyone I know (except Pebbles and Doodlebug) are married and stay with their families on the weekends!!

Barbie: I need you to move here....lol

Barbie: then we will have enough to form a posse.

Barbie: a girl needs a posse you know!

Winnie: Sure, sounds good...I'll get working on that

Winnie: You'll have to share your bedroom with me though

Barbie: I know that it isn't only the women finding the clubs young....our old friend lambchop mentioned the same thing this weekend.

Barbie: maybe it is time to post this:

Barbie: THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... barefoot...BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled, dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... forever!And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before!

Regards,The Over 30 Crowd

Winnie: Geeeeee thanks for making me feel old. Just what i needed today!!

Barbie: I don't like to call myself old. I prefer "retro chic"