Thursday, January 7, 2010

Reasons to stay single in 2010

So, to start out 2010, we have decided to remind
ourselves why we love to be single.
Here are our
top 25 reasons.


When you’re single...


1-Without a spouse you can still have a decent
social life in your 30s.
2-Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.
3-You don’t have to worry about what the bathroom
smells like when you walk out of it.
4-You know where the bar of soap has been.
5-There’s no fight for remote control ownership.
6-You don't have to shave if you don’t want to.
7-You won’t have anyone saying 'you're not going to wear
that, are you? (that’s what friends are for)
8-If there’s dribble on your pillow you know where it came
from.
9-You can be rude if that’s in you’re nature.
10-You can have friends over who behave outrageously
whenever you want.
11-You can surf porn on the Internet till you’re eyes fall out
and don't have to worry about deleting your browser.
12-You can spend all night on the phone without having
to justify it.
13-There's plenty of space in the closet.
14-You can drink wine out of a bottle or milk right out of
the jug whenever you like.
15-You don't have to write cards on anyone’s behalf for
birthdays or Christmas.
16-You can pass gas at will.
17-Your opinion is always the best opinion.
18-You can enjoy great performances of gay musicians
and actors without getting that eye-rolling thingy....
19-Dragon breath in the morning? No big deal.
20-Las Vegas is back on the list of vacation destinations.
21-Sweatpants and baggy shirt? Yes baby!
22-You can tell people you’re single and not have to
lie about it.
23-You can come home drunk and not have to pretend
you’re sober.
24-You can use your own name at hotels.

And last but not least…
 
25-You can actually tell the bartender, "If anyone
calls asking for me, tell them I'm HERE baby!"


Happy New Year to all our fans and thank you for sticking with us in the last couple months. We have slacked…we know, but 2010 is OUR year!!! We’re back with a vengeance!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Have a very gay Christmas!


Winnie: hi hun
Barbie: hey there
Winnie: keeping busy?
Barbie: yep....you know us neurotic types....always keeping busy...even if only with imagined worries...
Winnie: lol...yesssssssssssssss i know
Barbie: I am actually less grinchy today.
Winnie: and that's a good thing?
Barbie: isn't it?
Winnie: but I WANT you to be grinchy along with me!!
Barbie: Well, I'm usually a happy girl....just not usually around Christmas....I have no idea why. I think I just don't like people telling me that I HAVE to be happy and have the best time of the year. Can't take the pressure.
Barbie: wanna see something funny?
Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3354flS1KJs&feature=PlayList&p=4FDC8FC0E5BE901A&index=2&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

Barbie: sadly, I miss the big hair of the 80s

Winnie: lol, oh my...that video is so lame
Barbie: I can tell the chick in the video right now what the problem was between them .....he's gay genius! ha!
Winnie: just like any other relationship....only if we knew then what we know now , lol
Barbie: did you ever love any gay guys?
Barbie: I think they tend to appeal to teenage girls a lot (along with Vampires now apparently)
Winnie: all of them......LOL
Barbie: ha, ha. Don't ALL teenage girls love gay boys ?( I still love my gay boys). They are like girlfriends, but you still get to hang around boys and they don't look at you like they want to eat you with a fork.
Winnie: was never close to any...they were too cool for me
Barbie: what? are you not aware that we used to hang out with some in high school???? (big clue, our mothers let them come to our sleepover parties)
Winnie: ya but they all liked you lol
Barbie: yes, it is true, I am a proud fag hag.
Winnie: yes yes yes
Winnie: see, I tend to attract the losers
Winnie: or bar rats....whatever
Winnie: all the guys that have no chance in hell
Barbie: I'm totally hetero but have a soft spot for gay people (Cindy Lauper eat your heart out)...I think it is the "going for the underdog" thing. Maybe it is because I am a creative type. Except fake lesbians….hate those. You know how I feel about them.
Winnie: Yes, the “hey look boys in the bar…I’m kissing another girl” type lesbians. Lesbians of convenience.
Winnie: Gay power and all that, but I have to say that most of the good straight ones are intimidated by me, lol, go figure
Barbie: well, it takes a big man not to be intimidated by a strong woman.
Winnie: lol yes
Winnie: I was just told the other day that I make guys nervous.
Barbie: Guys SHOULD be nervous around you. They have no idea what they are up against. Snort!
Barbie: Psst….I will tell you a little secret....I know right away how to tell if I guy has a big “you know what”...
Winnie: Do tell!
Barbie: If he laughs at my jokes.....big one.
Barbie: if he doesn't think I am funny, small one.
Winnie: good conclusion
Barbie: I have a feeling that if we post this I will suddenly become VERY funny to a lot of nervous guys.
Winnie: You and me both sista!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fala la la la la lal......arrrggggggg!!!!



Winnie: hey chicki!
Barbie: hey chicka!
Winnie: sa va?
Barbie: yes....no complaints.
Winnie: I'm having one of those days...just a crazy crazy morning
Barbie: oh yeah? why?
Winnie: even the dog was hyper
Winnie: just stupid stuff...sick kid...was up all night and of course has a test at school today
Winnie: my father made all this noise in the shower ( i think he dropped ALL the shampoo bottles) woke everyone up
Winnie: my mom ran into the bathroom, thinking my dad had fell...started freaking out, she started crying
Winnie: the furnace stopped working (its new, was just installed last week) and my dad was checking it and decided to use a Rubbermaid bin as a step stool
Winnie: .....or course you can just image the sound he made when his foot came crashing through it. Not to worry, it was only full of dog food....that is now all over the basement floor.
Winnie: Oh and did i mention the dog was hyper???
Winnie: ....it just went on and on
Winnie: not enough coffee in the world today!
Barbie: LOL!! Christmas with the Griswold's!
Winnie: YUPPERS...
Winnie: oh...and the dog broke her rope and ran away
Barbie: she's gone???
Winnie: she came back....of course. She's a chicken. God forbid she spends more than 3 minutes away from me
Barbie: lol
Winnie: she might just climb on the counter, swoop all the paper and pens off and chew the crap out of a gel pen on the beige carpet
Winnie: ...cuz that would just be crazy
Winnie: am I ranting?????????
Barbie: lil bit....but I can understand. My family is coming next week so I'll be doing much of the same, I suspect. ha
Barbie: This morning my 5 year old told me he hated me and that I ruined his day....sigh.
Winnie: what did you do to that poor helpless child?
Barbie: he was scrapping with his sister on who got the middle seat in the van and it was her turn and he had a melt down and I didn't give in. So he got mad and threw his hallowe'en bucket at me and I did the whole "pick it up on the count of three or no Christmas specials for you tonight which further infuriated him"
Barbie: So he went and sat in his seat but let me know that he hated me just to get a little dig in....ah.....merry christmas.
Winnie: ohhhhhhhhhhh the jolly joys......
Barbie: "Tis the season to be stressed and cranky...falalalal"

Friday, December 11, 2009

Brrrrrrr...who's got the booze?



Winnie: good morning
Barbie: hey there
Winnie: the weekend is almost here ;)
Winnie: yeaaaaaaaa
Barbie: yeeha!!!!!
Winnie: so we both should have a blast?????
Barbie: I would think so....after the past week, I will say it is a safe bet that cocktails are on the agenda.
Winnie: lots and lots of cocktails lol
Winnie: my young son turns 19 this weekend....crazy...where did the time go?
Barbie: it goes so fast.
Winnie: the worse....he seams to have his life in check more than I do lol
Barbie: oh...it goes in cycles. Nobody has it together 100% of the time, lol
Winnie: thanks for making me feel better...
Winnie: how's your Christmas shopping coming?
Barbie: almost all done.
Barbie: the kids are the hardest and they are done
Winnie: wow, where did you find the time?
Barbie: I just made a list, took my tail to toys r us one day and got the whole dang thing done.
Winnie: i should have know you were so organized lol
Winnie: i've been out a couple times and walk away with nothing....frigggg
Barbie: I hate Christmas shopping so I make it as quick as possible....like a band aid, lol
Winnie: i usually like it, but this year i'm having a hard time deciding on anything
Barbie: well little kids are easy...older kids and men are hard...lol
Winnie: not having trouble with the older kids...they make it easy...CASH!!! IPOD and a LAPTOP...lol How easy is that?
Winnie: now all i have to do is win the lottery
Barbie: my kids said "surprises".....you don't get easier than that
Winnie: its the smaller kids i dont know
Barbie: then my little boy asked me last night if he could have a an hourglass timer lol
Winnie: interesting
Winnie: one year Skater boy asked for a Nutcracker, how could Santa resist
Barbie: OH MY GOSH!! my little guy asked for a nutcracker last year!!!!
Barbie: hey...check this out...
Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x768VAsOQSw
Barbie: We Canadians ARE crazy...
Barbie: have you ever been ice fishing??
Winnie: LOL, crazy for sure...and NO WAY you'd ever catch me ice fishing....
Winnie: I get cold walking from my car to the mall
Barbie: The people at the kid's bus stop were laughing at me the other day cuz it was -7 and I had on my head to toe gear. I don't enjoy being cold!!
Barbie: I would never do ice fishing FOR FUN!?
Barbie: maybe instead of jail time but not on purpose for recreation!!
Winnie: CHEERS to that!!!!!!
Barbie: although I must say that I used to enjoy watching the stupid snowmobilers fall through the ice in the winter back in the Hole
Winnie: yes, was always entertaining to say the least lol
Winnie: who's got the hot apple cider and rum?
Barbie: see skating outdoors you can talk me into as long as you put Baileys in my hot chocolate
Winnie: if there's booze....you can coax me to almost anything ;)
Barbie: yes, I've heard.
Winnie: shhhhhhhhhhh, don't let the word get around!
Barbie: too late! LMAO!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tacky Santa



Barbie: hey there..
Winnie: hello
Barbie: how are you today?
Winnie: doing good, cant complain about anything except the rain coming lol
Barbie: it has been rainy and foggy here for days on end...I think it is starting to affect my already fragile sanity...ha, ha
Winnie: we haven't had rain yet, just been foggy for a week lol
Barbie: gross....I don't know how people in England and Vancouver live this way all the time!!
Barbie: Plus it is at the darkest time of the year.....yuck!
Winnie: they wear rose colored glasses and ponchos
Barbie: sounds like a blast....wtf?
Winnie: got to survive !!!1
Barbie: hey...you do what you can...lol
Winnie: did you take the kids to a xmas parade yet? oh wait..."Holiday Parade"?
Barbie: no...it was gross and raining....not my idea of a good time. Plus I am a Christmas Grinch in case you have forgotten. I do everything at Christmas for my kids...otherwise I would skip it all and go to the Bahamas.
Winnie: i like the decorations and parties, that's it lol
Winnie: now that my kids are grown, its just not the same anymore
Barbie: I like the nostalgia of it I guess and the food but I hate the consumerism for it's own sake and sorry, but women take the brunt of the work around Christmas.
Winnie: i agree....so much for holidays lol
Winnie: i think this year i would much rather be somewhere warm too....something to be grateful for lol
Barbie: ya....the holidays just tends to be something I "get through". It is really stressful.
Barbie: I used to like it as a kid when all you had to do was sit back and enjoy. It must also be enjoyable for men who for the most part get to do the same thing (besides buying the required gifts).
Barbie: Let's see....you have all the family to buy for, kids, stockings, friends (ps- you are not getting a present), teachers, blah, blah....decorations to put up, cookies to bake, meals to plan.....I could live without it frankly.
Winnie: i still enjoy those things, its just the financial stress that gets to me....and allot of others too. The spirit of the holidays is often lost because of that.
Barbie: I think I was born without the "cooking/scrapbooking" gene.
Winnie: i only like to bake during the holidays....i love the decorations and music, somehow it makes me feel good
Barbie: I like to do those things when I have time but when you work full time and have two young children, it is all so rushed and forced!!
Winnie: but then,the gift buying, running around and having to see people you've been avoiding all year....bummes me out lol
Barbie: ya...I hate gift buying. I would skip the gifts part altogether if I didn't have kids. That's why I like Thanksgiving....all the good food and friends, but minus the gifts, the over hype and the overboard decorations.
Winnie: maybe we should move to the middle east....never have to see a plastic lit up Santa and reindeer again
Barbie: ohhh....but if you think the women there don't tow the line for their celebrations you are delirious...lol
Winnie: but does it involve tacky decorations???????
Barbie: not nearly as tacky as ours.

Monday, November 16, 2009

A boring Blog

Winnie: hey...got your voice back?
Barbie: marginally..
Barbie: but now I have a fantastic cough to go with it.
Winnie: ohhh sucks
Barbie: I can't complain, it is the first time I have been sick all year. I so rarely get sick.
Winnie: still....no fun
Barbie: hopefully it will be done soon.
Winnie: rest ;)
Barbie: YA....OK. THAT'S funny!
Winnie: lol
Barbie: single mom. rest. hahahahahaha
Winnie: single mom? why I'm sure their father would be HAPPY to lend a hand lol
Barbie: for a price...lol
Barbie: isn't there always a price?
Winnie: always.....
Barbie: so...we have had complaints that our blog is boring lately...
Winnie: ya i know
Barbie: so I guess you should go ahead and take that pole dancing class so we have something entertaining to talk about.
Barbie: I'm very sorry that the drudgery of our lives just isn't cutter the muster...lol
Winnie: entertaining??? lots of entertaining stuff going already, just not sure if its blog worthy
Barbie: that's the thing.
Winnie: anyone care that my son ended up with a BAD tooth ache and a pulled groin muscle withing 24 hrs...and that now i have to drive an hour for an emergency dentist appt with a limping complaining teenager...????? I doubt it lol
Barbie: I know. Somehow if we had our own reality series people would say our lives are very dramatic but some things we can't write about...
Winnie: and that i searched frantically this morning for my purse and then had the horrible fear that i had left it in bf's car which is an hour away on a hoist at a garage?...
Winnie: i think not!!!!
Barbie: how about my very boring weekend...NOT!
Barbie: driving 5 hours to realize that I am sick. Then taking out PC with my cold as well....only to end up with two sickos (and not in a good way) laying around all weekend.
Winnie: here's something exciting.....i started my Christmas shopping LOL....
Winnie: this should get everyone talking!
Winnie: OH....and i lost a button on my new jeans!
Barbie: There you go. This is life and we write about our lives.
Barbie: Although I must say that there was a very interesting drunken man at the Hut on Friday.
Winnie: and i missed it...
Barbie: He sat there yelling to himself for an hour or two....we all made bets on when the doorman was going to kick him out.
Barbie: When he was finally asked to leave, he came over and made a dramatic plea to stay....unfortunately he was completely incomprehensible and so we all just burst out laughing and gave him a round of applause.
Winnie: someone I know? lol
Barbie: not unless you know many 65 year old toothless men.
Barbie: ....and you might...hahahaha
Winnie: well i might, i do work there
Barbie: and for a grand finally, he did his best ninja routine on the way out.
Winnie: priceless......
Barbie: band-shmand....HE was the entertainment.

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Status Challenge

Winnie: good morning
Barbie: good morning!
Winnie: how was your evening?
Barbie: pretty uneventful....one could almost say boring
Winnie: nice i guess lol
Barbie: well, I'll take it over drama
Winnie: better than turmoil
Barbie: ya...there isn't anything "wrong" per se...just nothing very exciting or dramatic or excessively gleeful
Barbie: not a bad thing, just not pure entertainment
Winnie: we sure are suckers for drama lol
Winnie: we're complaining that there is nothing wrong....what's wrong with that??
Barbie: I AM NOT COMPLAINING DUDE...let's get this straight...I am perfectly happy to choose my own excitement!
Winnie: lol ok
Barbie: preferably in the form of a lottery win of some sort
Winnie: I'm working on that one
Barbie: me too. It's bound to happen soon. I'm worthy of it.
Winnie: yes you are my friend
Winnie: and i am worthy of at least half a million for being your friend
Barbie: lol not to worry....I'll take care of my friends when I am a multi multi millionaire.
Winnie: good :)
Barbie: the same goes for you!!
Barbie: In fact, all I want is my house paid off.
Winnie: all i want is A house, lol
Barbie: well, in my case, that also may be the case soon...ha, ha
Barbie: So....can I challenge our readers for a moment?
Winnie: a challenge on a monday morning??? wow you're tough
Barbie: I am asking them to come up with witty status' on facebook. The ol' "Glen is eating an apple." is dragging the fun out of facebook down!!
Barbie: I'm asking our readers to stir up trouble, cause some controversy, be original, think outside the box. Or, if you are going to be lame, and least let it be the MOST lame. (Can I say that my friend Pebbles won this one with the "Pebbles just turned the light out in the garage". An eternal winner in my books.)
Winnie: so you mean you DON'T want me talking about taking my dog for a walk?
Barbie: no.
Winnie: hmmmm, take all the fun out of it will ya!
Barbie: If your dog ate someones cat along the way, well that's a different story.
Winnie: nice........then i may have some angry neighbours who have something to talk about on THEIR status
Winnie: I have a good one.......
Barbie: what?
Winnie: and give it away?
Barbie: ahh....that's better...I checked your status...much more interesting!
Winnie: now i just have to tell the world how STUPID i am lol
Barbie: well at least it's more interesting!