We have to say that going to bars can be a very educational experience! Here are ten things we learned at the Hut this weekend:
1- Apparently, knee high socks are a perfectly acceptable way to hide a low jack. Even though you are supposed to be under house arrest, nobody will notice if you sneak out to a bar.
2-If you are intoxicated and intend on dancing alone, be bold....stand right in front of the stage and shake it like a stripper.
3- Dancing alone and shaking it like a stripper has no age boundaries....this includes bearded 83 year old men.
4- If you ARE going to dance alone and shake it like a stripper, make sure to hold your drink in your hand. You don't want to put it down on the table and have someone slip something into it. That would be bad because then you might do something embarrassing like dancing alone and shaking it like a stripper.
5- Tattoos ARE an alternative to clothing. I mean, technically they DO cover skin so just throw on a couple of pasties, some shorts and a hair bandanna and you're good to go.
6-Just because you are too drunk to stand up, doesn't mean you can't party effectively.
7-You CAN eat your own weight in popcorn and remain standing.
8-If you feel that you are not being noticed enough, just yell louder. You don't even need to have anything of importance to say. Just wait until the music has a lull, randomly scream "Hey Man!" and hug other men. I should also mention that if you are randomly screaming at females be sure to be derogatory to catch their attention. "bitch! slut! and Blondie!" are all very effective ways to make a woman's head turn.
9- If you feel that you didn't kill it during your last off key karaoke performance, why not try rap or country western for the next round.....two sure crowd pleasers! (especially if you are slurring the words)
10- Real men don't drink Bud light lime, or tangerine or pomegranate.
So, thanks again to the small town folk at the Hut for providing hours of entertainment and a sound education in the laws of the 'hood. God bless you for keepin' it real!