Our Cast of Characters...

Barbie: Hi Winnie!
Winnie: good morning Barbie Dear!
Barbie: So last night I got a request from one of our newer fans to put together a "list of characters" so they know who everybody is....not real names of course but a description of how they fit into our lives...
Winnie: Sounds fun...
Barbie: ok, let's get started....

Hometown (aka: the “Hole”): the place we both grew up. Small, a little backward at times...still has a big place in both our hearts...Winnie is moving back there shortly and Barbie wishes she could but is living in the BIG city.
Redneckville: the place Winnie is desperate to leave. Makes the Hole look like a thriving metropolis of culture and sophistication...lol
(Winnie: Oh sure does)
The Hut: a bar in the Hole owned by Prince Charming. Popular meeting place for lots of the characters....and the gathering place of the elite "Douchebags"
(Barbie: I would say that there is NOTHING elite about the douchebags there... they are garden variety, domestic douchebags...)
The Package Deal: a group of High School friends who were so tight that if you invited one somewhere, the rest had to come along.
Prince Charming (PC): Long-time friend of all the characters. Childhood sweetheart of Barbie and now adult sweetheart of Barbie.
Note: PC loves Days of Our Lives
TwoHandsFull: a childhood friend of ours...Her teenage years started pretty rough...Mohawks and ex-cons for boyfriends...now mother of 2 and 1/2 kids living in the modern Suburbia
Note: Twohandsfull also has her own (less racy) blog and was part of the original "Package Deal" gang of girls with Winnie and Barbie in High school.
CCC: aka Chair Chuggin' Chick (also known as Helmut Head): another member of the Package deal group and long-time friend of Barbie and Winnie. Known for her sense of humour and drinking prowess....also known for throwing up through the grid of a Hockey Helmet on her 16th birthday, but we won't mention that.
Missyloo: part of the original package deal. Used to throw killer parties when her Mom wasn't home. Lives "away" now.
Giggles: known for her "unusual laugh". A new comer in high school to the Package Deal...and makes the rest of us (well at least Winnie) look like a tame school girl....The best party buddy that ever was!
Daddyohh: another High School friend...long out of the picture and now has returned with a vengeance....kind, funny and a romantic at heart!
Funnygirl: Friend of Barbie's who lives in the big city. Known for her fantastic sense of humour and sarcastic quips.
Doodlebug: Artist friend of Barbie who lives in the big city. Note: she always has paint somewhere on her person and has the coolest curly hair.
Phatboy: the Karaoke King of the Hut. A High School friend who now is the master of entertainment in the "Hole". Just a jolly fella he is, with an impressive set of vocal cords!
Note: Phatboy has NO self confidence problems, lol
The Twins: a set of twins who went to high school with the girls and are still around on and off in the Hole. They are fun and have no mouth filters....almost like a version of Tourette’s.
Close talker (aka: Creepy Guy): A high school acquaintance of the characters who appears to have a depth perception problem when he drinks. Well liked by all.
Drama Queen: involved highly in drama and acting...moved away to the big city.
Shamrockgirl: Very close friend of Barbie's in the big city. Has an infectious laugh and a volume control problem when drinking. No party is complete without her.
Dr. Crack: Apparently went to high school with the girls but was an ankle biter at the time. A reoccurring character in the Hole. Close friend of PC.
Fratboy: The Eternal Party boy...who never wants to grow up and will always live in Neverland (the Dorm room version that is)
Keeya: a dear friend of Winnie's (and now Barbie's) who is stuck in Redneckville but is very cool and will take you out with her Karate moves...you go girl!
Wannabe Barbie: well that almost says it all....once...and I say Once, thought of as a friend until she decided to try and live out our lives by dating everyone's and I mean EVERYONE's ex-boyfriends....she has now moved away and never to be heard of again, wonder why that is??
Record Head: a close friend of Barbie's in high school and part of the Package Deal. Known for wearing a record in her hair to a high school dance. Moved away from the Hole after school and disappeared....if you see a 30something lady walking down the street with a n mp3 player in her hair ask her to call us immediately.
Peaches: maybe not so sweet of a guy...but juicy as hell
Note: ...in Winnie's opinion. Barbie thinks he is a dog with a humping problem. lol
Shyguy: bartender at the Hut...always being teased for his Douchebag qualities. Puts on a good show and is quite intimidated by Winnie so it seems (so is his girlfriend, we hear)

and last but not least....

Mr Biggg: Oh Mr Biggg...the unknown character that is in close competition to be our Fan Club leader with PC....A Big fan of Barbie’s and Winnie's... nemesis! (We still can’t figure out who he really is)

Well, that just about covers the basic reoccurring characters....if you want to have your own name and you don't see it here....write us...or become more prominent in our lives...lol.

Impromptu Guest Blog- Helmut Head Speaks Out!

Our dear friend Helmut Head (which we misspelled on purpose to create a pun that no person apparently "got") decided to write us about yesterday's blog. She is so unknowingly funny that we decided to post it lieu of our blog today.
PS- She will now be known as CCC from this moment on.
Barbie
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July 27 at 10:23pm

Hello Ladies!
Just wanted to bring up a point or two...
Of all the things that I have a accomplished (come on, there's at least two),
I’m very disappointed that you ladies have decided that the most significant point in my life was when I drank a few too many on my 16th birthday and vomited through a hockey mask [Helmet]??? OH MY GOD!!! Have you forgotten that I was able to ( not many people can say they`ve done this) open several 1 liter bottles of beer (with nothing more than a seat belt? When all the while (from the BACK seat of a borrowed car) enticing another car, full of strange men to allow us to spend not part but ALL of the night at their house?? Did you forget about that? That's a very impressive feat, I think. You should call me "Crazy Car, Bottle Bustin' Guy Getter"....No?? Admit it, it's got a ring?If I recall correctly Milli Vanilli even named a song after me...You couldn't use THAT name either though, could you??? It was called "Blame It On The ****"!!! Uh, never mind. That's just what YOU all did! What about the fact that I could drink anything from any bottle as long as I was "standing" on a chair?? HMMMM??? "Chair Chuggin' Chick"! That's almost artistic???There are many more, but I don't want to bore you. Just for the record, though!! (Barbie, I'm disappointed in your spellchecking!!)

HELMET:hel⋅met/ˈhɛlmɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [hel-mit] –noun 1. any of various forms of protective head covering worn by soldiers, firefighters, divers, cyclists, etc. 2. medieval armor for the head. 3. (in fencing, singlestick, etc.) a protective device for the head and face consisting of reinforced wire mesh. 4. anything resembling a helmet in form or position.

HELMUT:Helmut, (Hellmut, Helmuth, Hellmuth, etc.) is a common given name in the German language. As a family name it is rather uncommon.

Just my 2 cents (okay, maybe it was more like a nickel!)....
Luv CCC (Chair Chuggin’ Chick)xo
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Chair Chuggin' Chick, we salute you!! xoxo

It's Business Time!

Winnie: Good Monday morning!
Barbie: Good morning!
Winnie: well I survived the thunderstorm with only ONE power shortage...
Barbie: same here!
Barbie: we had almost golf ball sized hail too!
Barbie: I was worried about my flowers, lol , but we all survived.
Barbie: Hey....Helmut Head sent us a funny video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN0oDnoc3-c
Winnie: I'ts just to prove out complaints.....it's right there...LIVE
Barbie: hilarious!
Winnie: it's sad really....
Barbie: HA, HA
Winnie: those are men that came up with that....
Barbie: If it was REALLY a business running on those hours it would fail...
Winnie: dont' most of them do?
Winnie: those business arrangements I mean?
Barbie: are you trying to say that most men our age keep very short business hours?
Winnie: hmmmmmmm
Winnie: I won’t comment on that one....except.....
Winnie: i meant the "business arrangement" NOT the "duration" of the business meeting
Winnie: but then again...I haven’t been to a business meeting in a while!!! ;)
Barbie: alrighty then....lol....moving on to other topics...
Barbie: have you ever seen that show "Flight of the Conchords?"
Barbie: I personally find it downright hilarious!
Winnie: No i haven't
Winnie: but I think i've seen enough
Barbie: it's original...so funny!
Winnie: here comes another thunderstorm...hmmmm
Barbie: gee, they are so rare lately...
Winnie: and I don’t think I’ve seen any rainbows this summer either...
Barbie: yes! I saw one at my Dad's place...
Winnie: I was joking, I think Ive seen half a dozen already...you'd think I would have found the pot of gold already
Winnie: well...maybe I have?
Barbie: have you?
Winnie: i might have....;)
Barbie: Hey...I have a song for you today...
Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojkUv4aWY_0
Barbie: I wish I knew someone named Doug just to sing them that song...
Barbie: God that movie was funny!
Winnie: I saw "the ugly truth" yesterday...OMG...soooooo funny
Winnie: the best part of the movie. She's wearing vibrating underwear...and some kid gets the remote.
Winnie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd365-tvTpE
Winnie: I HAVE to get me some of those :)
Barbie: Oh my God...yikes....if that remote falls into the wrong hands...lol
Winnie: That's the point...yee haa!!!!
Barbie: ok, go ahead...get one....hand over the remote and I will pass it along liberally to whomever I see fit.....(note to self....and then hilarity will ensue...must make sure to tape for YouTube display)
Barbie: I plan on handing out the remote to all our friends at the Hut...
Winnie: ok ok...point taken lol
Winnie: make sure you bring spare batteries!!!!
Barbie: ...geez.....

To Barbie from Winnie

Angel vs Devil

Barbie: Hi! Boy am I EVER glad that it is raining....I was sooo worried that we would miss a day...
Winnie: well the sun is trying to come out here....hurry...I must go before I miss it!
Winnie: was thinking of going camping this weekend...I think I must just keep THINKING about it
Barbie: well...camping in the rain can be fun if you have someone interesting to keep you company in the tent all day and all night...otherwise, not so much
Winnie: mmmmm...guess I should dust off the sleeping bags then!
Barbie: remember the fun we used to have "camping" in high school?
Winnie: camping? is that what it was? lol, all I remember is drinking and walking from lot to lot...visiting our friends? lol
Barbie: well, or you could call it that....tomato-tomahto
Winnie: ahhhhhh the good old days, carefree and....well let’s not say it lol
Barbie: Footloose?
Winnie: for sure....lol
Barbie: speak for yourself....I was a very good girl and you know it...after all wasn't it your mission in life to corrupt me?
Winnie: it took me 20 years...still working at it!
Winnie: but I think I’m making progress
Winnie: you need to spend more time with me
Barbie: I'm not sure my liver could take it...
Winnie: blame the guys at the Hut for that one, it’s the only place I manage to get drunk at....THEY are the bad ones
Winnie: wonder why that is????
Barbie: Why is it EVERYONE's mission in life to get me drunk??
Winnie: so we could hold it against you for the rest of your life lol
Barbie: gee....YOU wouldn't do something like that would you??
Winnie: I wouldn’t have too....u-tube baby! lol
Barbie: E-VIL!!!!!
Winnie: if I could manage to get you drunk...I’m sure I would be right there along side you
Winnie: it’s everyone else you have to worry about, all those men trying to take advantage of you
Winnie: I could never let that happen to poor innocent you!!!!!
Barbie: nooo.....nobody would do THAT to me!!
Barbie: they are all hanging around for my sparkling personality!
Winnie: in my case....I get drunk, just to have an excuse to let someone take advantage of me ;)
Winnie: ok, maybe not.....I'd let them anyways lol
Barbie: I swear you trigger my mothering instinct....I can't tell you how many times I feel like giving you a speech or grounding you...
Winnie: oh come on now, you know I’m just getting your goat.
Winnie: no one would recognize me if I was a good girl....they would all think there was something wrong if I ever stopped dancing on the tables...frigggg
Barbie: Well the way you tell it, I'm a total stick in the mud...but I actually AM quite fun...just compared to YOU I am very conservative...
Winnie: I can be conservative....I do own pearls you know!
Winnie: I just like wearing them with lace...lol
Barbie: Geez.....must you throw everything into the gutter? Mystery, woman....how many times do I have to tell you....you must leave something to the imagination!
Winnie: much more to tell my dear...contrary to what you may think...I do keep things to myself
Barbie: I'm afraid to even ask…

Crabby-fest!

Hello all! Barbie here. Winnie and I would like to congratulate Chantal (twohandsfull) on winning the blog guest spot. Please find her blog below and we welcome any additional comments about things that bug YOU!

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When Winnie and Barbie said I won their “Guest Post” I thought this could be fun. I could write something totally out of character for me. I could write something trashy, something silly and fun. And then I thought about it. And thought about it. It is hard to manufacture trashy out of thin air. Really, I am a geek and a boring one at that. But one thing I am good at is complaining. So here goes. Things that drive me crazy:

Co-workers who come into your office and talk FOREVER and just won’t go away
The weather this summer – Holy shit Mother Nature, enough rain already!
Drivers who are slow going through the advance green, which makes ME MISS my chance to turn.
Drivers in The Wall (‘nuff said ;) )
The guy in the red Jeep who double parks in my office parking lot! A-HOLE
Stores that have a “HUGE SUMMER SALE” that runs for a month and then run out of everything in their flyer after week one – I am looking at you IKEA!
When you microwave your lunch and the outside is burning hot and the inside is cold. We can send people into space but we can’t heat a lunch evenly!!!
Did I mention the weather!
Govt. departments who make mistakes and then take their sweet time to fix them.
Men who treat my dear friends like shit – oh this one makes my blood boil!
And last but not least: THE FREAKING WEATHER!

This list could go on forever but I will stop now and spare you all. I am not just a crabby person. I love lots of things. I love; my kids, my husband, my dear friends (Winnie and Barbie are high up on that list), my extended family, my house, my garden, I love many many things. But since we talking beef, what’s your beef?

7 year, renewable marriage contracts...Let's start a movement!!

Winnie: ok, so caved in
Barbie: caved in to what?
Winnie: I bought a People magazine yesterday, I just HAD to gawk at the pictures of JON (from Jon and Kate) and his new trampy gf on vacation...3 weeks after the split... how dare he...and they were posing!
Barbie: hmmm....three weeks eh? yikes
Barbie: something tells me you don't find a new girlfriend in three weeks flat...this wouldn't happen to be the same lady he was spotted with BEFORE the split, would it?
Winnie: eventhough we are both proof that marriages are wayyyyyyyy over before it's announced..but still
Winnie: of course
Barbie: yeah....well, at least we know what happened now...
Barbie: younger woman promises "hey, I won't nag you like your wife does, I'll treat you like a the king you are forever"....just you wait, lol!!
Winnie: ya until the sex wears off...lol
Barbie: the initial flame ALWAYS fizzles, so you are lucky if you have a good friend you can get along with...
Winnie: what else could he have in common with a 21 year old pot smoking advocate...lol
Barbie: um....pot? Apparently? lol
Barbie: he always DID seem a bit mellow for the father of all those kids...lol
Winnie: duhhhhhhhhhhhh :)
Winnie: well now we know how he managed to stay married to HER for so long
Barbie: like I said....I think marriage should be on a 7 year renewable contract....they chose not to renew....no hard feelings...lol
Winnie: we got to get this message out lol
Barbie: I'm telling you....it is GENIUS!!
Barbie: Let's stop kidding ourselves....most marriages are NOT for life....let's just stick to shorter contracts, lol
Barbie: It will eliminate the need to place blame. I think biology dictates that the chemicals of infatuation secrete in our brains for a limit of 7 years....then you pretty much want to kick the other person out....
Winnie: just like cell companies...after a few years you start figuring out all the crap they put you through...when your contract is up......IT'S UPGRADE TIME BABY!
Barbie: LOL!!!
Winnie: ;)
Barbie: Not to be too cynical, but the feelings of love and infatuation are there to serve a purpose ....to make sure we procreate and that we stay together until the kids are a manageable age...but those feelings eventually wear off, we are crazy to expect them to continue...most good long term marriages are based on respect and friendship....in the end, that is all you have...
Winnie: and I have you for that...so who needs a man!
Winnie: my contracts are now going to be no more that 48 hrs
Barbie: lol! I have to say I hate cutting the grass and shovelling the driveway....but we can always hire out for that...
Winnie: renewable....if needed lol
Barbie: exactly!!