I Want to Be Rich and Famous?

Winnie: So...another week chalked up to crap!
Barbie: Yes...it was a very tough week for both of us. But I figure we will hit rock bottom and there is no way to go from there but up!
Winnie: That's what I keep telling myself
Barbie: I have also decided that since I skipped my whole rebellious phase in highschool, I am gonna have a do over now..lol
Winnie: watch out now...

Winnie: but delayed gratifications is sweet

Barbie: watch out about what?

Winnie: to whomever you are going to rebel against...

Winnie: dont want to give anyone heads up so lets leave it at that

Barbie: just a general rebellion (when I don't have my kids of course, I will remain MS. Responsibility with them)

Winnie: well that is good to know lol

Winnie: this crap of yours of "the universe is conspiring for my greatest good" is not working so much...its more like "the universe is conspiring for my trip to the loonie bin"

Barbie: right now....but trust me when I say that EVERYTHING bad in my life, no matter how much HELL it was while I was going through it, has somehow made me a better person and has given me opportunities.

Barbie: It is just so hard to remember when you are up to your eyeballs in the worst time of your life.

Winnie: ya ya...i know. It just never seams to end though. We'll get through it, dont have a choice, I dont have anywhere else to go LOL

Barbie: There are good things amongst the shitty items...

Barbie: and no matter WHO you are, your life will have its challenges. I think that is the whole point of life. NOBODY has a completely problem free life. We must just be EXCEPTIONAL students at the moment cuz life is giving us a lot of credit with how much we can handle...lol

Winnie: One day we'll be rich and famous and it will be worth it... but then we may be too old to enjoy it LOL

Barbie: I don't care about the famous part, I just want to have enough money to be comfortable and not have to worry about bills and have enough money left over for fun things and a little spoiling.

Barbie: It WILL happen.

Winnie: whatever :)

Barbie: what? you think I don't mean it when I say I don't want to be famous?

Winnie: I want to be famous...so everyone who gave me a hard time will eat my dust

Winnie: just a dream....

Barbie: LOL...You remind me of Kathy Griffin...I saw a clip of her saying that her whole life she used to lay in bed at night, thinking about all the people who snubbed her saying "you'll be sorry when I'm famous, you'll be sorry when I'm famous" lol

Winnie: see.....im not crazy

Winnie: not yet anyways

Barbie: I don't know that someday we will look back on this time and laugh...we will most likely say "wow, that was a tough time, but we made it and look at how much better off we are now!"

Winnie: ya but Ive been saying that for 19 years

Winnie: do i have to wait till im 60 to see the light? I sure hope not, I may not still look this good!

Barbie: I hope not.

Barbie: but hope is all we got baby...

Winnie: and each other xoxoxox

Barbie: THANK GOD for friends!!!!!!

Ladies in d'a House

Winnie: I miss you already!
Barbie: aw...me too!!!
Barbie: It was such a great weekend!
Barbie: I can't tell you how hard it was to get up this morning...lol!
Winnie: well it would have been harder for me if I hadn't got to bed at 9:30 last night lol
Barbie: me too. It was off to bed early for me last night. Possibly even earlier tonight!
Winnie: hope you have a quiet week at least
Barbie: this week will be jam packed actually. I believe doodlebug and I will be sending our book to the printers and I will be meeting with my friend Beachy to hang tomorrow night.
Winnie: wow...sounds exciting...good luck with all of that
Barbie: It's good for me to have a project like this to work on when I get back from the Hole. Also good to have friends here in my town otherwise I would just be having a pity party and missing my homeys.
Winnie: well its never the same without you here
Barbie: aw....good to know...lol, it feels like you guys have so much fun there without me. I always feel like I'm missing out!
Winnie: naaaa...its never that fun when I have no backup
Barbie: Give it time. Once you settle back into the city, you'll be invited to all the pig roasts and parties. Seems like there is always SOMETHING happening in the Hole.
Winnie: SOMETHING is for sure ...LOL
Barbie: It was fun to hang with Keeya again too. We make a fightin' trio!
Winnie: well she was sure on fire this weekend, workin' it good too
Barbie: yep! had heads turning all over the place, she did
Winnie: I think she gave most men a neck cramp from looking down, is what it was LOL
Barbie: LOL....she certainly does have some assets to flaunt.
Barbie: Well, cheers to you my friend and cheers to the people of the Hole who continue to welcome me with open arms and make every minute I spend there enjoyable!

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup...

Winnie: Bonjour
Barbie: bonjour
Barbie: how are you today?
Winnie: unemployed :)
Winnie: feels good baby! lol
Barbie: lol
Winnie: how's your day?
Barbie: so far, so good. No complaints.....yet, lol
Winnie: I haven't ranted..yet!
Barbie: go for it!!
Winnie: so...would you like a fly with your butter?
Winnie: free drinks included
Barbie: lol
Barbie: so...you want to say what happened?
Winnie: as not to offend anyone....let’s just say to all service staff out there... if you serve your customers insects, make sure they are on the menu...
Barbie: Can I just rant on your behalf then?
Winnie: you will anyways… lol
Barbie: Everyone makes mistakes at their job. We are ALL human and I can't imagine working for someone who actually expects that you are never allowed to make a mistake. RIDICULOUS!!!
Winnie: what world are you living in????
Barbie: I am saying that IF you live in the HOLE and you have been frequenting a certain restaurant/bar, mid-town. With a patio and wood oven pizza......I would consider not going there anymore. The owner does not treat his employees with compassion and I cannot eat there ever again knowing that.
Winnie: my sweet....you expect too much of people. The world is not as nice as we are
Barbie: I am living in the real world. Every job that I have ever had, if I made a mistake, my boss would gently pull me aside and tell me what I did wrong and how not to do it again.
Barbie: If you got let go every single time you made a mistake the world would be a perpetual merry go round of job seeking!!!!
Winnie: or worse....flies would be on the menu ;)
Barbie: Well, CLEARLY you wanted to put the fly in the food on purpose because you KNOW people tip well when that happens!!!
Barbie: I know you even brought it from home!!
Barbie: lol!
Barbie: hey....weren't you also serving on the patio?? Gee, no insects out there!
Winnie: apparently not
Barbie: Next thing you know, they will be firing staff for WIND getting on people's food on the patio, or a drop of rain getting in someone's drink!!
Winnie: well you know it could be a health hazard!
Winnie: acid rain mixed with europen beer...could make you start speaking with an accent or someting
Barbie: LOL!

Life's Milestones

Winnie: How was your PG 13 weekend?

Barbie: no complaints. Good bonding time with my kids.

Winnie: so you'll be all rested up for next weekend?

Barbie: yep!

Winnie: gooooooooddddyyyyy

Winnie: I had some weird moments yesterday. I was helping C pack for college

Winnie: we were going through some of his stuff, he found his souvenir box with all his kindergarten art work and report cards....wow

Winnie: was pretty nostalgic since he's old enough now to appreciate it and realized he's starting a new chapter in his life...but you'd be proud of me...i didn't cry

Barbie: aww.....life's milestones.

Winnie: yes it is

Barbie: I bet you never thought you would see the day...

Winnie: for a short time no...but I am very proud of him for sure

Barbie: every year around this time you realize how fast life zings by....the kids, a grade older. It just really makes you stop and think.

Winnie: but why does life seam to stand still for us grown ups....its only during these moments that we get a wake up slap lol

Barbie: I think probably because we don't have the milestones we used to in school. Each grade that goes by makes you realize..wow! I'm a year more advanced, but besides our birthdays and the birth of our children, we don't have as many milestones to count.

Winnie: so true...

Winnie: its ok...i still feel 28 :)

Barbie: funny, I just said that to someone the other day....I really feel like I'm still 28....sometimes younger inside!

Winnie: well my dear you don't look a day over 27, so don't worry about it

Barbie: lol, thanks. I'm not so worried to be honest....

Winnie: well you were the other day when you found THAT grey hair!

Barbie: I'm good with it now...lol

Winnie: ya that's cuz you yanked it out

Winnie: out of sigh...out of mind

Barbie: lol!

Barbie: ya well, I figure that if I only found my first grey hair at my age, I'm doing alright.

Winnie: geeee thanks....i found my first one at 21

Barbie: most people do....but then again my hair is light so it is less noticeable.

Winnie: that's just because you've been in denial. "If I don't look for it, how can I find it?"

Barbie: oh...I've been looking....just hadn't found any up until now...

Barbie: but I'm cool with it.

Barbie: Actually, although I like my hot little bod at 25, I really like my frame of mind more as I get older. I'm more confident and I think that is sexy too...

Winnie: ps....you are sexy baby!! (wink wink)

Barbie: lol, thanks!

Winnie: anytime

Barbie: If I would have my body in my early twenties with my confidence in my thirties....uh, oh...look out. lol

Winnie: poor men, you didn't make them suffer enough in high school lol

Barbie: ha, ha...what?...lol, ok, I did a little.

10 Signs it's time for Divorce

Barbie: So....I was watching a talk show the other day and there was a woman wondering if she should divorce her cheating husband....
Winnie: ok....
Barbie: I thought it might be helpful if we put up 10 signs that you are probably headed for a divorce...

1- if you hear the phone ringing and skip merrily to it, hoping that there has been a terrible accident....that is probably not so good.

2- if you spend many morning showers having imaginary fights with your spouse, shouting all the things you REALLY want to say to them in your head...again....not headed in the right direction.

3- You are hoping he starts an extramarital affair just so he stops bugging you for sex. Probably, the D-word is just a matter of time.

4- If your bedroom antics inspire as much excitement as a tax audit. Bad sign.

5- You find that you cannot stand listening to his/her same jokes and stories in front of company. While he/she is talking, you run an internal monologue saying "OMG. This story again. If I have to fake laugh at this story one more time I'm gonna slit my wrists."

6- You used to be so supportive of their bad days. You used to spend hours boosting their ego and consoling them. Now you just say "sucks to be you". Probably not a relationship that is gonna be saved.

7- You used to actually consider his/her opinion. You would run through your head "maybe he is right, maybe going to church IS selfish, and I SHOULD stay home and make him breakfast". Now you just go to church and pray that he has a head injury, changing his entire personality. Not a keeper.

8- Your friends are starting to slip up. They used to smile when your spouse was an obvious ass and say things like "maybe they are just super stressed at work, I'm sure they didn't mean it." But now they are saying stuff like "that shit wouldn't fly in MY house" or "wow, I don't even know what to say". Start packing your bags sweetheart.

9- You will do virtually anything to not have to be in their presence. "Need your driveway shovelled? Let me volunteer!...What's that? you need to clean the grease trap at your restaurant? I LOVE doing that!" Again. Not exactly headed for a second honeymoon.

Finally,

10- If the prospect of being alone for the rest of your natural life sounds like winning the lottery....game over. Time to hire a lawyer.


Winnie: Darn, I knew i shouldn't have written this in my diary....

How to pick up 101

Winnie: hey sunshine!
Barbie: hello....
Barbie: not much sunshine here today. Another rainy day.
Winnie: same here...yuck!
Winnie: guess I won’t be busy working the patio tonight
Barbie: you hope!
Winnie: I’m still sick…I could use a night off.
Barbie: Oh no...Still eh?
Barbie: did you get any sleep last night?
Winnie: not much, I think I managed to cough up my lungs lol
Barbie: well, at least they won't be bothering you anymore....lol
Winnie: that's what I'm thinking :)
Barbie: ok, so I am obsessed with a new TV show...it is diabolical.
Winnie: so what’d this TV show?....what's TV?
Barbie: ya...pretty much right? I watch TV so rarely these days except when the ex has the kids.
Barbie: It is called "Keys to the VIP"
Barbie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u06OQ3xD1nE
Barbie: it basically teaches you how to be a douche bag in a club; step by step....I am absolutely fascinated!
Winnie: oh my...my...my
Barbie: I had no idea that men worked so hard at cheesy come on lines!!
Barbie: It is unbelievable how carefully planned pick ups are....no wonder they need wing men!
Winnie: no wonder there are still single men out there!!!
Barbie: It is even more fascinating for me because coming from a small town, men usually know someone connected to the woman they are trying to hit on so they don't need to come up with an excuse to approach her...but in big cities, apparently you need a fresh excuse...
Barbie: my personal favourite is one episode where they use the (and they actually call it this) "classic" technique of choosing the most beautiful girl and somehow insulting her to get her attention.....I am absolutely shocked that some people think this works!! The guy trying it on the show got shot down so badly it was painful to watch but apparently it continues to be a "classic"...
Barbie: what would you do if a guy walked up to you and insulted you in a bar?
Winnie: not sure I guess....it would depend on a number of things: 1- was I drunk or sober 2- was HE drunk or sober 3- how cute he was and 4- how desperate I was....
Barbie: are. you. serious? I have to say that a guy coming up to me and insulting me would. not. bode. well.
Winnie: LOL, of course not my dear...but lest you forget, I can dish it out pretty good myself. I like a bit of competition. You also have to figure out if the guy is seriously an ass....or a looser watching too much TV LOL
Barbie: The guy on the program came up to the girl and said "why are you wearing so much make up" "you would look better without so much make up"....um. no chance, lol Barbie: I also HATE it when guys do the "smile" thing....I promise you it is not original and girls hate it...
Barbie: Why can’t guys just be nice and genuine…is that too much to ask?
Winnie: see... I would tell him " If you take off yours, I'll take off mine"
Barbie: LOL!
Winnie: and “a smile is only good when it's genuine!”
Winnie: minus the wink LOL
Barbie: see....I think you may be a douchette....capable of lines as cheesy as the guys approaching you!! lol
Winnie: they are not lines my dear...but comebacks....a gal has to hold her own ya know!
Barbie: oh...don't you worry, I can definitely hold my own...ha, ha
Winnie: we'll have to test in out
Barbie: I just like it when people are genuine instead of resorting to fake, cheesy lines...
Winnie: we should plan a night of experimenting of our own
Barbie: experimenting in what way?
Winnie: how to handle douche bags....go out one night and see how many guys we could get to hit on us....and then douche them back!
Barbie: girls don't need pick up lines...basically a good looking girl could walk up to any guy in a bar and say "hi, I'm poor, dumb and possibly have herpes" and the guys would be like "hey, I'm in!!"
Barbie: I will give you 10 bucks to walk up to someone you don't know in a bar and say that and I bet they start talking to you and you pick them up.
Winnie: YOU'RE ON!!!!!
Barbie: God help us.

Birthday Cake or Pie?

Winnie: happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you....you look like a monkey and you........
Barbie: thank you!
Barbie: i think...
Winnie: with love my dear
Barbie: aw...
Winnie: how's your day?
Barbie: pretty good. Pretty normal.
Winnie: what no strip-o-grams at work today?
Barbie: lol...nope
Winnie: oh yea....you must of got that on the weekend?
Barbie: lol ya (we're not printing this right?)
Winnie: yes we are.....
Barbie: then no. lol
Winnie: ok then, I won’t tell anyone
Barbie: lol
Winnie: well I've just returned to the bachelor’s pad....and found a "rat-in-a-box" on my kitchen table
Barbie: what?
Winnie: i've been away for 5 days and while i was gone, my son decided to buy himself a hamster....and no cage. Soooo its in a box...ON MY KITCHEN TABLE
Barbie: oh. my. god.
Winnie: thank God he's moving out next week...lol...hope he takes that darn thing with him LOL
Barbie: holy cow
Winnie: no cow....a HAMSTER
Barbie: lol...worse!
Winnie: all I can say is hope it doesn't get out
Barbie: yikes no kidding
Winnie: or it's BBQ time !
Barbie: ew!
Winnie: i won’t eat it, I would tell HIM it's chicken lol
Barbie: still ew
Winnie: hehehehehee....
Winnie: so your parents have any plans for you tonight?
Barbie: I think they are making a cake.
Barbie: But it looks like it is chocolate...booo!
Winnie: you don’t like chocolate?
Barbie: not really. My favourite is white cake with white icing or lemon cake with white icing...
Barbie: but I could skip chocolate pretty much altogether...weird eh? Most women love chocolate...
Winnie: I'm not a huge chocolate fan either
Barbie: but I loves me some candy....oooooeeeeee I do have a sweet tooth.
Winnie: I dont...I must be a freak!!!!
Barbie: usually you either have a thing for sweet or salty....sadly, I can go for both...lol
Winnie: guess YOU are the freak!!! lol
Barbie: I never said I wasn't.
Barbie: I heard you got some apple pie this weekend?
Winnie: ohhhhhhhhhh yes....mnummmm mnummmmm!!!
Barbie: ...thought you said you didn't have a sweet tooth...
Winnie: not for candy.....but Pie I'll take anytime
Winnie: besides....it was the company that made it so good :)
Barbie: aw...isn't it always the way...
Winnie: hmmmm...well not always lol
Barbie: good food always tastes better in good company...you don't believe that?
Winnie: Oh I know it!
Barbie: although sometimes junk food by yourself is good too...
Barbie: so nobody can see you eat the whole package of twizzlers...lol
Winnie: forget the twizzlers...It's a super size bag of lay's for me!
Barbie: ya...you like your chips...
Winnie: It's my weakness....that and big triceps :)
Barbie: lol. Is that all it takes?